First smile

Wednesday 11:29 am, the third day. When I opened my eyes this morning, I realized that I am not in my bed. Panic for few seconds!!!!  Then I relaxed and smiled. A big big smile, the first one in this horrible week.
I didn't  SMOKE last night !!!  I have't been so happy since long time!!! I didn't smoke!!!   I know that this sounds stupid for nearly everyone  else, but for me is one of the biggest achievements lately. Actually the biggest.   So, I was drinking last night, I got drunk ...hmm ok ok I have to be sincere, I got wasted ... but in the whole period I didn't felt the need for a cigarette!!! At least since 6 years I never had a drink without a pack of cigarettes to go with it. I mean, when I say NEVER, is really NEVER.
Last night I got extremely wasted and didn't felt the need for the cigarettes, at all!!! I remember I got a bit agitated because I  felt the need to get my bike and leave. Took Pablo a while to convince me that I am not able to stand up but to take the bike.
    There is actually some light at the end of the tunnel!!!! I have the first victory, I feel much better than yesterday (except that yesterday I didn't have a hangover)  and seems like  I can have a life even without cigarettes. I must admit that yesterday I had moments when I felt that my life is over, isn't worth   anything anymore without cigarettes. I didn't really believe before that I was such an addicted person!

Now that I know that I am  extremely  good at getting addicted  I decided which would be the next addiction.  Astro-ph papers. I want to see  the shaking and desperation when I don't have anything new to read !
So from the physical point of view today is much better than yesterday. No shaking but actually the coughing started.  My lungs are getting again  some fresh air and they can't manage it yet. Otherwise everything is better now. I am smiling, and I am much more optimistic :)
 I go now to work on the paper addiction. I was not joking! That's my next project : to prove if there is a correlation between addiction and destructive things!