Sunday morning, 5:05 am. Today are exactly 21 days since I stopped smoking and also the first observing night/morning without smoking. I was pretty afraid of this moment. Usually one night of observing was equivalent with more than half pack of cigarettes (around 1 at every 40 min when the dome had to be moved ). I successfully passed the test: no smoking ! Actually I passed 5/6 most difficult tests : I had a coffee with a smoker, I had a ride in a car with a smoker, I have been at parties with lots of alcohol, I had an observation night and managed to have a short phone call with my family. In the dark age (the period when I was smoking) all these events were measured in how many cigarettes I smoked !
But the final battle will begin just next week when I'll have to live in the same flat with a heavy smoker for probably more than one month!Yupiii!!! I didn't have enough stress already ! I just hope that by the end of this period he will be a non smoker too and not the other way round!
I just have to remember : 3 weeks since I am not smoking and I feel a totally different person: much more optimistic, smiling and with increasing self-esteem.
Recently I was reading some article about habits and how to change them. A habit is composed of three parts: cue, routine and reward. You can't change a habit, but you can change the routine component. The habit of smoking consisted of a stress factor as a cue, lighting and smoking a cigarette as the routine and the reward was the impression of feeling more relaxed. For succeeding in giving up cigarettes, I had to replace them with another routine: at the beginning was biking but that usually takes more time than a cigarette. The perfect solution I came up which previously was just a joke is reading astroph. A cigarette takes usually like 5 min plus 5 getting out in total 10 min at a time. Now, if I feel stressed, I take a break of 10 min reading some abstracts or looking into a paper on the arXiv. I know it sounds crazy, but it works !!! Soon I might be able to cure even Facebook addiction this way !:D
Friday night I met with a friend which tried to stop smoking in the same period as me. He was smoking again. When I asked what happened, the answer was: "I am not as strong as you!". Lame excuse, the same I used so many times before!And I really felt sorry for him ! If you read these lines, think twice before lighting that cigarette:it won't make you more relaxed!
I wanted to write some more things but is already 6:30 am and I am still in the institute. I guess I should go to sleep a bit and leave the rest for the next time!
P.S 7:52 am ; on the way back home I witnessed the most beautiful morning since I am in Bonn: half of the city being in a very dense fog, no cars at all on the street and everything painted with a fresh green; except the lady from the bakery (which was extremely nice) the only living things I met were a rabbit, a squirrel and a crow. The fields between Bonn and St. Augustin were surreal. It is such a long time since I was impressed that much by nature. Might be also a secondary effect of no smoking. I feel so much more alive and everything leaves so much stronger impression on my senses; and besides I get now a much finer sense of smell ! A new habit will emerge based on today's experience: Sunday bike rides through the city before sunrise :)
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